Chinese Rhymes #2

I took the time to translate two more poems(actually ditties is the better term) from the Liao Ning Night Market resturant. Previously written about at:

http://mikeess-trip.blogspot.com/2011/04/taipei-liao-ning-night-market.html

These two are of a "sexual nature" and the kind you would expect in a bar. If anyone can help with my translations, please comment. Notice that the pinyin translations show that they do rhyme when spoken.

男人不喝醉,女人沒小費
女人不喝醉,男人沒機會
男女不喝醉,賓館沒人睡
老婆沒人味,請人說太累
嫖妓嫌太貴,強女姦會犯
早點回家睡,用手來自慰
 
pinyin:

nánren bù hēzuì, nüren méi xiǎofèi
nǚren bù    hēzuì, nánren méi jīhuì
nánnǚ bù hēzuì, bīnguǎn méi rén shuì
lǎopo méi rén wèi, qǐng rén shuō tài lèi
piáojì xián tài guì, qiáng nǚ jiān zuì
zǎo diǎn huíjiā shuì, yòng shǒu zìwèi

My English translation:

If the man doesn't get drunk the waitress doesn't get a tip
If the woman doesn't get drunk, the man has no opportunity
If the man and woman don't get drunk, the resturant people don't get any sleep
If the wife says she's not in the mood, and says she's too tired
To visit a prostitute is too expensive, rape is illegal
So early to bed, and use your hand for pleasure.

沒結婚是對的
結婚是錯誤的
離婚是覺悟的
再婚是執迷不悟
有再婚是自尋死路

pinyin:

méi jiéhūn shì duìde
jiéhūn shì cuòwùde
líhūn shì juéwùde
zài hūn shì zhímíbùwù
yǒu zài hūn shì zixún sǐlù

My English translation:

Not getting married is correct
Getting married is a mistake
Divorce is an enlightenment
To marry again is an obsinate foolish mistake
To marry again brings about your own destruction

A sense of humor is always appreciated.